Feelings about everything

We just have eleven more days left before our year in Denmark is all over. It’s hard to believe how 11 months have flown by so quickly and yet at the same time, it really does feel like a whole lot has happened. Our life here has become a daily routine, and I think that it will be very difficult going back to our "old life". I feel conflicted. I really cannot wait to see my family and all of my friends, but at the same time, I don't want to leave my family and friends here. It is all very difficult to take in, and I have a hard time realizing that there will be a HUGE change in our lives in less than two weeks.

I'm so glad for my year here in Denmark. At one point, I felt a bit regretful because I didn't learn quite as much in school as I had thought I would, but thinking about it, I've learned so much more than what you can learn in school. I've learned about the people here, their culture and who I am and I have had so many amazing experiences here that I wouldn't have if we hadn't taken the chance to move here. Living away from home, on the other side of the world, has impacted me in ways that will stick with me for life. Since being in Denmark I have come out of my shell, so to say, I'm much less shy! I've become more independent, and confident in myself and the choices I make, and I've learned to take in everything as it comes. Being put outside of your comfort zone is a scary thing, but I've realized now that really it is just an opportunity to try new things.

Mormor is selling her house. It will be very hard for all of us, especially Mom, to say goodbye and know that when we come back it will be to somewhere else, not the childhood home we were all use to. Who knows what will happen to it or who will move in, but the best thing to do is to put a smile on you face, your mind in positive thinking and your heart full of the great memories that have taken place while we lived in it. It has really been great that we got the chance to live here and were able to go to Lynge Skole.

Right now, everything seems like it is flying by. A week feels like a day, a day feels like an hour. We try to make the best out of our last time here, but it seems harder when you think about all of the negatives like, moving away from your family, friends and home. I know how hard it felt to move from America, but this is different because I knew the whole time that I would be moving back. Now that we will be leaving Denmark, I don't know when we will come back, and when we do, if we will be coming back to the same friends and family. I have made such good friends here, and now I am just going to leave them on short notice. All my friends here have the same reaction about me leaving, that they wouldn't let me go. They don't want it and won't allow it. I feel that when I am around my friends here, I am peaceful with myself and the world, and I am able to express myself, not through bragging or doing homework.

The tempo here is different. People are on time, and do not want to come late, but in the long run, they use their time more wisely and calmly. After school, you don't have to drive at 75 mph to get to a sport or activity, here you walk over to a club or go home to your friends and hang out, talk, and relax. At dinner, it is not about being the first done, it is about hygge and being together. I have really enjoyed that tempo, and now that I know that that tempo of life exists, I will have a hard time going back to a compacted and hectic lifestyle.

I have been very lucky to come in the class that I came in. Everyone is very grateful for each other and there are very, very rarely arguments. All of the girls are close, some closer to others. In the US, I struggled (especially in the lower classes) for finding a best friend. I knew that there were best friends in movies and books so why not one for me. I always tried so hard to be a person that everyone liked, but not the person that I am 100%. I always thought that a best friend was one that you told secrets to and who didn't judge you and that would always be your friend forever. In some ways, I was right and some ways wrong. I didn't just find my best friend, but my best friends. They are always there for me and they couldn't care less about the clothes I wear, or how good I am at sport or school. They just care that I am who I am and I am very grateful for that. I am always excited to come to school and hangout with them. I feel that leaving them will leave a huge hole in my heart, because I finally found friends who I always have fun around and who appreciate me for who I am.

All in all, I have found my brown feeling again. Yellow for the queasy feeling in your stomach when you are excited, blue for the despair of leaving the people I love.
I never want to forget this year, and I never will.